a man who use to be my boss some sixteen years ago passed away today.
it saddens me.
he was a good boss even though he could be  a hard ass and sometimes down right mean (never to me) but I liked him and liked working for him.
He had a heart attack this morning and passed.

he leaves behind his wife, three sons, numerous grand children and an adopted daughter.

He was in his early seventies so I guess he had a good life.
Still I will miss not seeing him  around our little town.
I would see him on average once a month.
I just saw him two weeks ago and we said hi to each other.

Rest in peace Jack.

well tomorrow is October 1st.
Amazing if one thinks about it how quickly times goes by.

I love the thought of it being October tomorrow.
Just love it.
Love these cooler days and almost cold nights.
Love the trees changing into beautiful shades of oranges, yellows and reds.

Next year will be busy.
We will be moving back to our bigger house.
After cleaning and repainting it.
We will need to get the house we live in now cleaned for who ever the new owners will be.

I have a grand child due in May.

My sisters (hopefully both) are going to Utah with me for a week in April.

and I hope to change jobs next summer.

I’m not sure doing what yet but I have a couple of things in mind.

Neither will pay as well as this job does but…I need a change and this will be it.

so while we have three more months of this year and two grand children with birthday’s in November, not to mention Thanksgiving and Christmas…..

all looks good for the future
🙂
And it helps loving this time of year
🙂

my darling grand daughters.
🙂

 

Last night or I should say late yesterday afternoon I called my son and asked if I could see his girls.
In the past, because Kayla has been so little I would just get Keira.
But last night I said “I would really like them both”
And he said “You want Kayla too?” acting rather shocked that I did.
And I said “yes I do. She is older now and can interact more and I would like to have them both”
Well needless to say he was surprised but he brought them both over.
Mirielle was here too and the two older girls played fairly well together and Kayla wouldn’t let me out of her sight.
I was making supper and she would crawl to me and climb up my leg until she was standing at my feet.
Made it hard to move but….I so love having my babies with me.
They are the light of my life.
🙂

It is an old movie “Ground Hog Day” with Bill Murray playing the leading role.

it is about a man who wakes up to live the same day over and over and over again until he gets it right.

I feel like I am in that movie simply because I feel like I get up and do the same thing over and over every day Monday through Friday.
The weekends I get a reprieve but come next Monday it will be Ground Hog Day again.
😦

and while I know I should be thankful I have a job and can pay my bills…..

it does get tedious.
Yeah I know, I need a different job.
🙂

I did a rotten thing.
I had a person confess a couple of things to me, swearing me to not repeat it and I did to another person.
It wasn’t a malicious act on my part.
It was because I felt like I was carrying a burden that I didn’t know what to do with and I needed another person’s imput.

Now the person I hurt says she isn’t upset or mad, but deep down I know I have hurt her.
She confided in me and I blew it.

in my defense though, I felt like I was sitting on a time bomb and if it exploded without my saying anything I would have a whole bunch of people down on me for not letting them privy to this information.

so I opened my big mouth.

I was wrong to do it and I have apologized quite a few times for it.
And I realize saying I am sorry, isn’t going to take a way the hurt.

I just felt and still feel like I wasn’t able to help this situation at all and not talking to anyone else was eating away at me.
Especially if something negative came from it.

So that is the scoop.
That is my flaw.
For caring so much I had to share the information to find help.

I was wrong doing it.
And I have to live with my letting this person down who means so much to me.

okay I got my hair cut about two weeks ago.
it is short and most of the time I think it looks cute.
however the last two mornings I am struggling with crappy hair.
Yesterday I didn’t style it thinking, all weekend it looked cute with the wash and go thing.
Well yesterday it was flat as could be and nothing I could do, would change it.
Quite depressing
(yes this may seem like a little thing, but if I am having a bad hair day, my whole day is off)

so today, this morning when I bathed at five am, I got out and towel dried off and used the blow dryer to style my hair.
AND it looks like crap again.
Ugh
What am I doing wrong?

Yesterday I thought, okay maybe I didn’t rinse the cream rinse out very well.
So this morning I made extra sure that I did rinse my hair throughly

but it doesn’t matter.
the hair is just not doing it’s best.

And like when I feel fat and bloated (that certain time of the month) I just feel off and not at my best.
Same with my hair.
So….it is frustrating.
😦

of course I have opened my big mouth and hurt my sister’s feelings.
I should know better and I should have just kept quiet about it.
One sister said we are sisters and that entitles us to share our ups and downs and every aspect of our lives that we are struggling with.
Which I agree
however we also tend to criticize and no one wants to share all their deepest darkest thoughts to have someone come along and criticize their choices or what they are doing or willing to endure.

I think that is why we aren’t as close as we could be.

but I know better than to open my big mouth.
I wish I hadn’t.
But since it can’t be taken back I have to learn to live with the consequences

here we are sitting on Tuesday morning.
I am at work, and as always I am wishing I wasn’t.
Paid bills today and find that I have only $107 until my husband gets paid a week from this Friday.
Quite depressing.
And yes I know I am lucky to have two incomes when some people only have one.
And I know I am lucky to have a job as well.

Just saying, it stinks….when all the bills are paid there is little or nothing left over for fun.

I kind of ache today.
Have a stomach ache and feel like someone has pounded on me a time or two.
Took some ibuprofen so hopefully that will kick in soon.
🙂

other than that it is just another carbon copy of yesterday.
Which is boring as can be but alas….this is my life…..

I’m thinking of heading here in the October at the end of the month…..

I have been here four other times but it is a quick vacation spot that doesn’t cost a whole heck of a lot of money…..

and with the fall colors it will be beautiful.
🙂