Archive for January, 2019

I have a headache and have had it all day.

I am thinking it is due to not sleeping right and the neck pain is causing the headache.
My grandchildren just went home.

Miss Ava is so dang wonderful.
Twice today she covered her eyes to go to sleep.

hiding eyes

I just love her to pieces.

I love the others too but Ava is so sweet and innocent.

I was thinking earlier how sad it is that we won’t be having any more grandbabies.

I know six is a good number but Miss Ava makes me think having six more would be great too.


My friend Laurie gets to come back to work so she will be working with me this weekend.

I am glad she is back.

Hopefully I can finally go back to third shift and just work third shift once the two new kids get the training done.

I work tomorrow, Saturday and Sunday 2-10

I told my husband when he was complaining about grandkids, that I would be more than happy to stay home and watch them and he work.

He makes twice plus what I make an hour.

But unfortunately he can only make $30,000 a year.






So I am trying to get on my nook and it keeps telling me my password has expired and I need to go to my email to get a new one

The trouble is, that email was from the school district and no longer exists so I no longer can get my books from my Barnes and noble account

it pisses me off

I have close to a hundred books on there

Why can’t things be left alone?

Why say a password has expired if I am the only one who ever used it, what is it to them if I never change it?



My son Matthew is 33 today.

I didn’t get to see him which I think is a bit unfair since I gave him life, but he spent it with his family and that is what he preferred to do.

I am just mom.

Matt, as everyone calls him is a quick wit, extremely funny and a very down to earth kind of guy.

He has always been a quick wit.
Even as a child.

My sister Cyndi use to think he was extremely funny with how easy he would come back with a instant remark that would have people laughing on the floor.

He has two daughters and his wife of course.

They live about fifteen miles away and I don’t see them as often as I would like.
But my other son lives about six blocks from my house and I don’t see him all that often either.

Matt has a good head on his shoulders, and is always studying one thing or another to be knowledgeable.

I am proud of him.

He is a  lot like his father though and isn’t very affectionate or willing to give his old mom a hug and kiss.

He is a man so I guess I shouldn’t expect much.



I Hate Life~

Well that is not one hundred percent true.

I don’t actually hate life I just hate my life at this moment.

I can’t sleep

I went to bed at ten, woke up at a few minutes before midnight because I had to go to the bathroom.

Came back to bed and tossed and turned and tried to get my brain to shut off, but it wouldn’t.

I would doze for twenty minutes or so and the rest of the hour I would be awake.

This happened all night.

It is almost six am and while I feel tired, the moment I tell myself I am relaxed enough to go to sleep it is like my mind says “Oh no you aren’t!” and I am wide awake again.

I hate when I can’t sleep

Tomorrow night I will have to be working all night and won’t be able to sleep, and can’t sleep……why does it have to be this way now when I need the sleep and want to sleep on my night off I can’t?

I just hate it all…..


Days Off

My days off are flying by.

Here it is Saturday already and I have to be back to work on Monday night.

I hate it.
Literally hate how fast the days off go.

There is never enough time to do everything I need to do.


Since being up I have bathed and cleaned the bathroom.

Started laundry and cleaned the grandkids play area in the basement.

Ate breakfast and here I am.


We are having my youngest son’s birthday dinner tonight.

Ham and Chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, cheesy broccoli, dinner rolls and cake and ice cream.

We are having Chicken too because my eldest son doesn’t like ham.


Paula our eldest daughter isn’t going to make it down due to being ill so everything got changed.

Matt doesn’t want to go out to drink, but they will drink here while they enjoy a home cooked meal and hang out.

Matt will be 33 on Monday.

matt, rick and brian

Matt is the one on the left, then my husband Rick and then our son Brian who will be 38 in February.

Night Three Here I come~

I can’t come up with a plausible excuse to not work tonight so I will go to work.

I WOULD LOVE to call in but it isn’t going to hurt me to work.

And when I get off at six tomorrow morning I won’t have to go back till ten pm on Monday night.

So I can handle it.

Do I want to?  Hell no.

But I will because it is expected of me.


I slept great today and only plan on a few hours tomorrow because I don’t want to sleep my first day off away.




nine twenty three

Night Number Two~

I am about ready to leave for work.

Night two in my three night event.

I slept from eight till nine thirty, waking up only long enough to realize I was waking up and then I went back to sleep while my five month old grand daughter slept in my lap.

I went to bed at one and in between bathroom breaks I slept from one till eight twenty tonight.

So I feel refreshed.

Have to see what tomorrow brings for tomorrow night.

I would LOVE to call in, but I don’t suppose I should.

I haven’t called in since November 8th of 2017 and my being at work doesn’t really affect anyone other then that nursing home staff who have to answer call lights two or three times each third shift.

They do it without me there six sometimes seven nights a week if and when we are short staffed and I have to work second shift…….so it wouldn’t be that big of a hardship for them to cover me if I called in tomorrow night.
Guess we shall have to see how I feel.

I have such a full weekend that I don’t know where I am going to get some down time.

Not to mention I will be very tired on Friday if I work tomorrow night.

My job isn’t hard…..just have to stay awake …….

Keira and I are going to go and get her nails done some time on Friday.

Kayla and Matt will be here as well visiting.

Paula will be here most of Saturday and Sunday morning and while she will be staying at Matt’s house over night we will have the five youngest grandkids to watch while they all go out for Matt’s birthday.

He will be 33 on Monday.

And then Sunday I have my sister’s daughter in laws baby shower.

Which should be enjoyable and I will get to see some family too.


Just a crazy busy weekend for me .

No doubt it is better than working…..don’t get me wrong….I just wish it wasn’t quite so busy……


Ahh life….

daytona beach sunrise


That’s You Without Me~

When I look into your eyes I still get weak

And when I’m this close to you I just can’t speak

You are all I want and all I need and it’s so damn hard to believe, that’s you without me~

This is a few lines from a song that is stuck in my head.

It has and always will be  near and dear to my heart as I loved a man who didn’t love me enough to want to spend the rest of his life with me.

I don’t see him often.

Last year I saw him three times.

I haven’t seen him this year yet.

We don’t talk because when we did he always implied he was up for an affair, and I am trying very hard to be better than that.

It will always be a struggle where he is concerned.

I loved him very much and always will.

I KNOW I have a better man in my husband.

I do know that.

But it doesn’t change and will never change how I feel about the other one.

Yep, that’s you without me~



I am so over people~

I have a very hard time dealing with people these days

They say and do things that just flabbergast me.

They are self centered and can’t see the forest for the trees.

I try and explain my feelings and they turn it around and make it about them.



Just so over it all.


Then to top it off, a girl called in sick yesterday.

They went ahead and found a sub for her today but she showed up to work.
They sent her home, even though the person who is working for her can only work till eleven.

So guess who gets to work a twelve hour day?

I am flipping exhausted now.
Getting less than five hours of sleep and now I have to work a twelve hour shift?
I just hate people.



Happy New Year~

I am tired.
I worked last night and stayed up till a bit after eleven this morning and then slept till five fifty this evening.
I have showered and eaten, answered an email to my sister, scrolled through Facebook and now I am feeling tired and ready for napping again.

Unfortunately I have to work in two hours.

I told my sister I will be glad when I can get back to working just third shift so I can get my sleep pattern more regulated.

I am tired.

Saw five of my six grandchildren this morning before I went to bed, and my daughter Emily and son Matt.

I saw Brian last night before I went to work and it has been since Thanksgiving since I have seen Paula.

I hope she is doing well.

After tonight I am working two till ten Friday through Sunday and then I work Tuesday through Thursday ten to six next week and then am off next weekend.

Yeah ten days from now.

I really would just love to go back to bed, but alas…..guess I will just be drinking some caffeine and quite a bit of it tonight at work.

Not sure when I am going to get to sleep tomorrow as I start watching my three youngest grandkids again.

Happy New Year everyone!

happy new year mountains