I tend to complain and I often feel like I hate my job

But I do have a lot to be thankful for this Thanksgiving and always.

I have healthy happy children who all have someone to go home to every single night.
I have five healthy beautiful grandchildren who are all gifts from my Gracious Heavenly Father.
I have a husband who loves me and who I love very much.

I have my Heavenly Father and His son Jesus Christ who both live inside of me and keep me on the right road.

I have siblings that I love dearly who all have loved ones they get to spend the holidays with

And I have a few friends that I treasure.

My life is wonderful 90% of the time.

May you have a blessed Thanksgiving and all those you love are with you either in spirit or spending the day with you this year.

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I am sitting here in my den, listening to oldies.
Right now “Stairway to Heaven” is on.
I so love oldies.
And it doesn’t even have to be old time rock and roll, although that is my favorite type of music to listen to.
I also love to listen to old country songs.

a lot of music now a days is just noise to me

Although Garth Brooks has a new song out called “Mom” that I love

🙂

You know I’ve lived in Iowa my entire life and actually love winter.

What is funny to me is I am the only one in my family that has to shovel snow as part of my job.

No one else does and even though I was just outside shoveling snow for the past hour and my lungs burn from the cold air, I still love being out in the fresh crisp air.

I love all four seasons and I just can’t imagine not having snow.

People bitch about the cold and the snow, and I just roll my eyes.

Go out and shovel it every day it snows for one winter and maybe then you have the right to complain.

And even then I think not.

It is November in Iowa, it isn’t like people don’t know that winter is coming.

Or move and stop complaining.

Whatever happened to me?  Where in the hell did I go?
I use to be so passionate, vivacious and raring to go.

Now I feel like the life has been sucked out of me.
I exist.
I am a robot moving from one day to the next.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I didn’t know this was happening to me.  I didn’t just wake up and realize I was this way.
No…it isn’t that simple or that complex.

I gave in, I gave up.
I’ve become old and tired long before my time.

I could blame my husband who has been old for years, but he didn’t force me to be this way.
he made it easy for me to be this way, but he didn’t force it on me.

Truth is, I have settled into this boring life because it is easier.
I have become quite lazy.

And I hate who I have become and I must change.

I use to love to wake up and be ready to tackle the day.
now I just give into it

I am in a rut.  I feel the weight of being despondent, pulling me down, trying to conform me to this life long before I should be ready for it.

I want to find me again.
I want to feel like I’m living again.
To find excitement in things….in life.

And while I know I have so very many blessings….I have lost me in the process……….

and it makes me sad.
I gave up putting me first years ago, and now I am suffering because of it.

So I now have an ipad and I love it with a few exceptions.

Certain games my grandchildren want to play on it they can’t

But with the nook hd they can’t play any games at all.

The ipad doesn’t have the layout for my favorite pages like the nook does.

I can get to 90% of the pages but the few I can’t get on with the ipad, frustrates the hell out of me.

The nook is easier to get into my library of books, but the screen is bigger on the ipad.

Overall I love them both and can’t see ever wanting to give either one up

If I had to choose  which one I like better it would be a tough  call, but it would probably be the ipad.

I woke up this morning feeling pretty damn good health wise.
Since getting out in these freezing temperatures and breathing in that ice cold air I have been having coughing fits.
Coughing so hard I am gagging.
This is not fun at all.
I have thought about going home but tell myself to toughen it out.

My three month old grand daughter is sick with the same crap and Aaron and Keira and Kayla are finally getting over their sickness

My husband too is sick with this cough and cold.
It seems never ending.

My daughter is taking Bailey to the doctor as I write this so I do hope she will get some meds to make her better.

I love winter though and I love how fresh and crisp it is outside.

They say by the weekend it should get warmer.
Let’s hope they are right.

Good Lord I am in pain today.
It literally hurts to walk today.
Damn.
The pinched nerves are really kicking in.

On a different note it is starting to feel like winter outside.
And while it Is November 6th, it hasn’t felt like it weather wise.
But it does today.

Day 1- November 1st  (granted I am three days late, but bear with me)

I am thankful on this first day for my Gracious Heavenly Father and the love I feel He has for me with every breath I take

Day 2- November 2nd.

I am thankful on this second day for my five beautiful grandchildren.

Day 3- November 3rd.

I am thankful for my four children and that they are healthy and happy.

Day 4 (today)
I am thankful for my husband and his ability to love me despite all my faults.

To be continued………..

so while I am at work with a lot of time to think, I have discovered that I need to make some changes in my life.

Habits I have picked up through the years I now have to change and or give up

one is spending money for no other reason then because I want something.
Another is to stop going on vacations because I am bored with life and need something to look forward to.

yes I need to change my habits.

a lot of them……….

Here it is Saturday afternoon, one day off already gone (if you count that I get home from work at three every afternoon)

My husband finished putting plastic on the windows for the winter cold, and I have rearranged my den again.

we weren’t supposed to get Keira and Kayla tonight but my son asked if we would take them while they bowl.
I said of course.
I love them dearly.

I just hope they can get along today.

🙂

sometimes they don’t, so hopefully today they will.

no reason for the picture other than I like it.
🙂