Saying Goodbye~

My sister Cyndi died tonight. At 8:13 pm. I was alone with her and it happened so incredibly fast. One minute she is breathing heavily and the next she is breathing shallow and going over a minute before taking another shallow breath. That lasted 3 minutes and then she was gone. I still can’t believe…

Cyndi~

This was taken five or six years ago with my niece Jackie and a different niece’s daughter   This was taken this past June. Carolyn, Kathy, me and Cyndi.   I tried cropping the pictures so I could just have them of her but unfortunately I can’t figure out how to do it without it being unprintable…

Starting today~

I know a few people, one in particular,  who live in the past. Who can’t get themselves of the “Victim” mode. Who want to whine continuously about life gone wrong and how it is someone else’s fault but their own. It gets old. But I listen and I try and be supportive, but people, wake…

Back ache and dying~

I feel like someone has shoved a steel rod up my spine. it aches so. I assume it has to do with all the sitting I have done this last week visiting with siblings and being with my sister Cyndi. Cyndi’s doctor came in to see her last night and told us that Cyndi is…

Life as we know it~

I just realized that I haven’t written a blog for several days. Weird to be forgetting something like that. Tomorrow I go back to work after being off for a week. I WOULD LOVE to be off forever but only if I had the money to still do what I want.   Cyndi isn’t doing…

Cancer

Cancer stinks. Literally stinks I helped my sister today because she is so weak and can’t help herself. She is fading quickly and it breaks my heart. I actually feel guilty sitting here watching TV when I don’t know how long she has to live. Every time I kiss her goodbye I wonder if that…

hidey ho

it has been a crazy week. I am tired and wish I could just escape from life for a while. Yeah that sounds really selfish since my sister is dying and probably won’t be here a month from now. I cleaned her room and have been unloading a bunch of things. There is a lot…

Cyndi

We got Cyndi moved to the nursing home today. We have to clean out her shed tomorrow, and take the belongings to her son’s house and then take a few things to Cyndi. They drained 3 liters of fluid off of her stomach yesterday and then yesterday afternoon she was so perky and happy and…

Family Time

Kathy and Wayne made it to Iowa from Florida after driving over 24 hours to get here. Ric is here from Canada. Cyndi is still in the hospital although she may be going to a nursing home today or tomorrow. A doctor came in yesterday afternoon and said that the cancer is now in her…

Lord give me strength~

I went off on my boss yesterday in an email. I have requested the next four working days off and he wrote me an email that said  if you HAVE to take the time off then go ahead, but we will really be short handed for someone to cover your job.   My brother is…