Archive for January 2010

learning to let go   Leave a comment

people struggle daily with the conflict of learning to let go of a lost loved.
I have been in their shoes and I know that feeling quite well.

I wonder why people struggle with this.
Don’t they know that hanging on to something that once was, isn’t good for them?
And yes I know anyone who reads this and is going through this painful feeling will tell me they don’t have a choice.
And I do know that, I honestly do.

However hanging on is just that.
Hanging on
The one you loved has moved on.
Found someone knew…..learned to let go.

I do know that someone always loves someone more than the other person.
It just is the way it is.
and I do know the God awful pain of watching someone walk away and start a new life with someone else while my heart is bleeding and in pieces.
It isn’t fun and it is damn painful.

But we all must learn to let go.
Move on.
Put one foot in front of the other and make plans for the future and try and TRY HARD to forget the past.

Posted January 31, 2010 by Marge in my loves, ramblings

sitting on go……   Leave a comment

I feel like I need a change.
I feel like I need some adventure in my life.
It is odd to me, because I get to feeling so settled and comfortable and them BAM! I feel like I need to find something to get me out of this rut I am in.
I don’t know where it comes from or why, but I get the feeling like I’m floating along and life is passing me by.

I know the mundane life, and money woes has a big part in the whole thing.
However I still think…..I need something different.
Some kind of change.

And then other times I feel like I am being ungrateful for all the things I have in life.
I have many blessings.

yet I still feel stuck and in a rut…..

is this just me or does every one feel this way from time to time?

Posted January 30, 2010 by Marge in ramblings

money woes   Leave a comment

My husband and I both got paid yesterday and after paying bills, we have one hundred dollars left for the next two weeks.
How depressing.
So sick of money woes and there never being enough money.
Damn it.
I know we aren’t the only ones in this situation and I know too that I am lucky to have two incomes where a lot of people only have one.
However it still is depressing.

Posted January 30, 2010 by Marge in ramblings

Friday   Leave a comment

I had a great day today.
My mood was one of complete contentment and I felt extremely serene and happy.
I got home and it all went to crap

Found out my son’s wife went and had her tubes tied.
But he lied to me and said she fell and hurt her shoulder again.
And while the lying bothers me what bothers me most is that she can’t see fit to give him a child of his own but wants him to help her raise her daughter.
Just doesn’t seem fair.
AND WHILE I KNOW it is really between the two of them, it wasn’t even four years ago that he told me he wanted his own child by the time he was thirty.
He will be 28 in three weeks.
But because her child is so spoiled rotten that he has a hard time being around her most of the time, he has decided, with a bit of coaxing from his wife, that he isn’t really father material
I have told him not every woman raises her child and spoils them so rotten that they are hard to be around.
And he is missing out on one of the greatest things in life, fathering a child.
BUT…l know it isn’t about me or what I want or don’t want for him.
It is his choice and he chose to marry her and help her raise her daughter but not have a child of his own.
It saddens me but I am just a mother who wants life’s best for her child.
Guess I have to cut the apron stings and let my children live their lives.
Like I can stop them from making mistakes.
Which I can’t.

Posted January 29, 2010 by Marge in family, ramblings

squibble squabble…..   Leave a comment

that is all I can say.
Squibble and squabble.
life turns on a dime.

Odd to me that people are so secretive and have to be so hush hush about things.
Like they are immune to the day to day tasks of the American life.

Just learned one niece left her husband for another woman.
AND another niece and her husband are seperated.

I learned about the one that left her husband for another woman from a guy I have worked with for the last nine years.
Come to find out, he is my niece’s cousin.
Odd, to not know that until today.

The other bit of information about another niece and her husband being separated comes from a source that won’t devulge her source

Don’t know why people feel the need to keep secrets.
Aren’t we all human?
I mean really?
Just stupid and we are suppose to all be family.
Just don’t get people.
They act like they are better than the rest of us, so it all has to be hush hush.
Really stupid.
But whatever.
Just more squibble squabble in life.

Posted January 28, 2010 by Marge in family, ramblings

never again   Leave a comment

because I had a tooth pulled on Tuesday the dentist put me on codeine and I had a bad reaction from it and was sick all day yesterday from dry heaves and feeling like I was going to faint every time I moved
not a good feeling

but I feel better today, not perfect but better, so much better than yesterday
so I can say never again to taking codeine

Posted January 28, 2010 by Marge in ramblings

oral surgery   Leave a comment

well I broke a tooth last night and went to the dentist today only to be sent to an oral surgeon to extract my tooth.
So I sit here with a numb mouth and a sore mouth
I have a mouth wash I have to use at least twice a day, and two other pills to take for pain and antibotics

I hate having my teeth worked on and I avoid the dentist if at all possible.
But today’s was a necessity

No fun but at least it is done and I am on the mend.

Posted January 26, 2010 by Marge in ramblings