Archive for September 3, 2009

into the future   Leave a comment

I am here at work thinking…..I tend to do that when I am alone and or working on something that leaves me with an open mind to fill up with my thoughts.
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I think about the future and what it holds in store for me.

First and foremost I hope to have more grand children one day.
My youngest daughter Emily I hope and pray can one day have children.
She has certain female problems that may prevent that, but I hope she can give her father and I at least one of two more grand children.
Time will tell I guess.
My eldest two will never have children and my younger son Matt already has blessed us with two beautiful grand daughters.

Besides the additions to our family I want to find a job I enjoy working.
I seriously think of going back to being a nurses aide.
one reason is because I love working with the elderly and another is because it helps me to help other people.
I enjoy that immensely.

I plan on leaving this current job by next June.
I will miss the good pay but my back with be internally grateful for not having this job when it is done.

I want to be better off financially too.
And while that may still be a year or two away I long for the days when we can have a decent savings account.

I have thought about going back to school, but at my age it seems kind of pointless simply because I don’t want to increase our dept, which will happen if I go back to school and I am ready to slow down some, not fall full fledged into another career that may take up more time then I want it to.
I am 48, and while that may not be too old to go to college I feel like it is too old for me.
The most important things in my life is my family and starting a career or something that would take me further from my family is not something I want to do.
Besides God has given me so much, I need to stop and smell the roses more.
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my husband can retire in three years and I want to be working part time then, if possible so that we can travel more.
I want our finances to be better so that I can work on part time and so he doesn’t have to work at all if he doesn’t want to.

as we enter the ninth month of 2009 I find myself more at peace then I have been in a really long time.
And that is also due to God.
HE is there for me.
I feel Him with me.
I feel His strength and His wisdom inside of me.
He carries me and I know that without Him I would be lost.

yes sometimes life throws you curve balls but with God’s help, I can handle anything.

A year ago I was working two jobs andΒ  hating nearly every aspect of my life (not my kids or grand kids)
A year later I have lost one child through estrangement and the other three are all busy with their own lives.

yes they all come around and love us but it isn’t the same.

Now it isn’t the empty nest thing that I did feel a bit when Emily moved out.
it is just another time in my life.
Another chapter if you will….

I am still overweight and would be happier thinner but I don’t need to be.
I like the woman I am and while I will never be that attractive girl I was in my twenties I am not ugly or deformed in anyway that makes me ashamed of how I look.

I just feel settled.
I feel secure.
I know I have a man who loves me very much, who despite his temper, and black and white out look on everything ……he is a good man.
And he does love me.
no it isn’t a romantic love but it is a comfortable partnership.

my future looks bright because of my dear Heavenly Father and His existence in my life.

I am anxious to see what the next year holds in store and I hope and pray that all my children and their significant others and spouses have a wonderful year ahead of them too.
As for my incredibly beautiful grand daughters I feel like the world is their oyster…..anything is possible if they just keep an open mind and heart and know the power of being kind.

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Posted September 3, 2009 by Marge in family, God, my loves, ramblings

back rub   Leave a comment

ever had an amazing back rub?
the kind that makes you feel like every single fiber of your being is flowing out of you with all the stress being relieved at the same time.
I have a friend who gives the best back rub.
She just gave me one
Now I owe her a lunch or two.
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I feel one hundred percent better then I did before she gave me the back rub.
I keep telling her, that she could open a business and have a huge clientele with the way she can give back rubs.
She just laughs of course.
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Posted September 3, 2009 by Marge in ramblings

so tired and achy   Leave a comment

yes I know I should come up some flashy title instead of how I feel.
But I am very tired and I do ache every where.
Due to yard work and my old aging body not being use to such hard labor.
Not that I don’t have labor in my job, I am a custodian of course I have hard work to do but this is different.
This is aggressive I love it can’t get enough of it yard work and I am outside!!!
So I really dive in so to speak and then I pay for it.
I realize I hit on all of this in a previous blog, just thought I would start the morning off with a “still tired and achy” comment.
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Posted September 3, 2009 by Marge in ramblings

yard work   Leave a comment

this is going to say it is Thursday September 3rd but it all reality it is almost eight thirty on Wednesday September 2nd.

I worked in my other yard again tonight and I have to say every part of me aches.
the bottom of my feet, my fingers and hands, my neck, my shoulders, my knees and calves.
I tend to squat when I am doing yard work and that even makes my butt hurt.

YES YES YES I am out of shape and fifty pounds heavier then I should be….but I never really realize how out of shape I am until I spend hours doing yard work
WHICH I have to say, I love doing.
It soothes me.
Comforts me and makes me feel quite mellow.
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Posted September 3, 2009 by Marge in ramblings