this is a picture of me and my husband last Saturday.
ugh I am fat.
I never realize how fat I am until I see a picture of myself.
I am disgusting.

I am striving really hard to eat smaller portions and moving more instead of sitting down and doing nothing.

I need to lose weight.
not only for my own self worth, but for my health as well.

ugh

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I am sitting here trying to figure out what to say today, and I run across this picture and think how wonderful it would be to be sitting in this hammock and just enjoying the sunset.
yes my mind is still on vacation and counting down the hours until it gets here.
Which can’t come soon enough.

so today online I have been looking at Apple I pads, nooks, and smart phones.
I want a wi-fi of some sort that I can carry with me at all times.
My son said the Apple I pad, is not worth the money.
My sister swears by the nooks, (but I don’t have that kind of money at this moment, due to saving for vacation)  and smart phones look great but I was told I can not upgrade, until my two years is up.
(I just upgraded in March)

so…..I am now looking at a tablet at Wal-Mart that has a ten inch screen and wi-fi and an e-reader

this might be what I will get.
It is less than three hundred.
The Nook would be close to five hundred.
Sigh………

what to do?
Think I will just shop around and see what I can find……..

this is something I want to get before I go on vacation so I have internet access at all times.
And I don’t want to take my laptop

I want something smaller to carry in my purse.
Don’t I sound spoiled?
🙂

well I went to the doctor yesterday and his verdict is that while I sprained my knee enough to inflame the nerves, it is mostly arthritis and there isn’t anything they can really do for that.
He suggests swimming and losing weight.
Which of course I know I need to lose weight.
that is a given.
So once again I am going to strive really hard to lose the weight.
My doctor said I really only need to lose thirty-five to forty pounds, not the fifty or fifty-five I think I need to lose.
🙂

My God this getting old stuff is taking its toll on me.
I am so sick of hurting myself by doing little things that I do every day and all of a sudden I am in horrific pain
Take Friday night.
I am up on a ladder cleaning pictures and shelves that these pictures are on.
I go to get down and my left knee will not bend.
The more I try and bend it, the more horrific the pain is.
I am literally crying as I am trying to move with my knee locked in place.
finally after a few moments that feel like hours, it does bend.
Now I can’t walk on it or extend the leg out, without the horrific pain returning.
I am beside myself with aching.

Finally the leg calms itself down.
I prop it up and ice it and take my Aleve

All night long as I sleep I wake up with this pain in my knee on the left side

it hurts clear to my toes and up the back of my leg.

I put a brace on to walk and help baby it, but I can’t bend the leg without the horrible pain returning.
And I can only put weight on the leg if I keep the leg stiff and straight as I walk.
No walking normal for me.
I literally have to drag my left leg behind me to walk.

Now here it is Monday and I am waiting for the doctor’s office to open to make an appointment to be seen.
Not only does the leg hurt, but my lower back hurts as well, due to what I can only assume is from walking funny to compensate my left leg.
The knee is still swollen clear down to my foot.
The ankle bone can hardly be seen because the foot is swollen.

I probably shouldn’t be walking on it, but I do have to get around.
There is no way I can walk up stairs without walking like my left leg is made of cement.
if my knee bends or twists I am howling in pain.

So very sick of this body of mine giving out on me.
Seems like a complete betrayal.
😦

I have another busy weekend ahead of me.
Tonight we went out for our anniversary and took our grand daughters Keira and Kayla and Emily and her family joined us.
After that we went to the park to play with the girls until their father got home.
Tomorrow we are going to Adventureland but meeting my husband’s sister and her husband for breakfast like we always do.

then tomorrow night we will have Aaron all night and my sister is thinking of coming up and staying with me as well with her three boys.
Sunday she wants everyone to go out to Lake McBride, a state park here in Solon and have a meal and visit.

Sunday night may be mine to clean and do laundry.
And before I know it, it will be Monday morning again.
But the good thing is, it will only be five days and then I will be off for ten
🙂
Got to love that

Happy weekend everyone!
I will try to write some time before Monday but no promises.
🙂

well today is the day, 33 years ago today I married my husband for the first time.
After fourteen and a half years we divorced only to remarry three years later.
So fifteen years ago today I remarried him.
Total 29 years together as husband and wife.

we have four beautiful children, Paula is 32 and living in Wisconsin, Brian is 30 and lives in West Liberty, Matt is 25 and lives in Wilton and Emily is 22 and lives in West Liberty

We have two daughter in-laws, and Paula’s girlfriend and Emily’s boyfriend.
We have four beautiful grandchildren that are the loves of my life.

Through thick and thin and our ups and downs my husband has been faithful and loving to me.
Has it always been a marriage of bliss?
no, and it isn’t now.
I love him and care about him, but he does things that annoy the hell out of me.
As I am sure there are things I do that annoy the hell out of him.
But marriage isn’t a bushel of roses every minute of every day.
It takes work and more work and while we are lucky to have each other and the family that we have, I am sure we will keep on working to make it work till we are parted in death.
Everyone is healthy and happy and we are both blessed.
🙂

my two and a half grand-daughter and I have this little thing we do.
She runs to me and hugs me and I pick her up and I whisper to her
“Kayla do you know how much I love you?”

and she pulls back enough to look in my face and she says “I love you this much,”  as she opens her arms wide  “all the way up to the stars!  Nana, where are the stars?  I can’t see them”
🙂
I keep telling her some time at night we will go outside and I will show her the stars.
Now I am trying to get her to say that I love her more than all the stars in the sky

which is what I taught her sister when she was younger.

this little ritual we do at least a half a dozen times every weekend I see her.

I love being Nana.
It is the greatest joy of my life.
🙂

the air has lifted, my sea is calm, I feel content and serene

the blues have left me and my senses are filled with the glorious day ahead

I am riding rainbows of beauty and counting down the days until I can go on my stress free vacation, where the only thing I will have to worry about, is where I will lay my head down to sleep each night.
🙂

   I’m a cloud watcher.
I find clouds incredibly interesting.

I remember when I was a kid, I would lay down in the back window of my mom’s car and as she drove I would stare up at the clouds

the clouds can say so much

             at least I feel they talk to me
🙂