Archive for October, 2011


      I am not a big Halloween fan.
I think it is a wasted day where people spend tons of money on customs that are pointless.
oh I know people say it is all in fun, and the one day out of the year you get to be someone else other than yourself.

I simply think it is just stupid.

Of course kids love it and that is what it is all for I guess.
Me personally, I would like to hibernate for the day and come out tomorrow…….



Yard work today

I have been waiting for it to warm up enough so that I can go out and work in the yard.
It was 29 degrees this morning when we left home at seven am.


Now it is close to fifty and the sun is shining wonderfully so that will help immensely


have quite a few bulbs to plant and a few other little odds and ends to do.

Love my weekends!

chase away

whisper in my ear as you reach for my hand

whisper how much you need me

and vow to always be my man

kiss me like there is no tomorrow

love me until your dying day

tell me you will always be here

and chase all my fears away

I yearn for the warmth of the sun

I yearn for the mountains so incredibly high

I yearn for the ocean breeze to flow through my hair

I yearn for the sea tides

I yearn to be on vacation

I yearn to be surrounded by those I love

I yearn for the warmth of my children

and my grandchildren given to me from God up above

my husband and I had our three younger kids and their families over last night for supper
(It is the only way I get to see Keira and Kayla during the week)

we ate Roast and all the trimmings and sat around visiting afterwards.

the little ones had a hard time getting a long (3 is a crowd and poor Keira was so tired)

but it was a grand time.
I love it when the kids are all there.
(Tonyia was working and Paula never comes around)

it was a great time!
There is nothing as important as one’s family, except God of course

I am a blessed woman

Against all odds

how can I just let you walk away, let you leave without a trace

when I  stand here taking every breath with you

you’re the only one who really knew me at all

how can you just walk away from me

when all I can do is watch you leave

cuz we’ve shared the laughter and the pain

we’ve even shared the tears

you’re the only one who really knew me at all

so take a look at me now

there’s just an empty space

there’s nothing left here to remind me, just the memory of your face

so take a look at me  now , there’s just an empty space

and you coming back to me, is against all odds

but it’s just what I have to face

I wish I could make you turn around, turn around and see me cry

there’s so much I need to say to you, so many reason’s why

you’re the only one who really knew me at all

so take a look at me now, where there’s just an empty space

and there’s nothing left here to remind me, just the memory of your face

oh take a look at me now,  cuz there’s just an empty space

but to wait for you is all I can do and that’s just what I’ve got to face

oh take a look at me now,  cuz I will be standing here

and you coming back to me, is against all odds

but it’s a chance I’ve got to take……….

Terrible two’s

I had my grandson last night and he showed me a new side of himself that I have never seen before.
He won’t be two till next May, but I saw a very good view of a temper tantrum last night

he was very tired, but he kept kicking his feet and yelling “NO!” and whining!
ugh I hate when kids whine!
it grates on my nerves.

I tried to lay him down for a nap but he just cried and I can’t bear his crying so I let him get up again.
He was fine after that.
he is like me that way when I get really tired everything magnifies so much more and I can’t deal with things well.

I love my little man so much
And he did give me a kiss when his mama came to take him home.


my sister passed away two weeks ago today and I miss her
I miss knowing she won’t be there to talk to, and I miss knowing she never will again

her daughter asked me yesterday how I am really doing?
How do you explain?
I know she knows how it is, because she lost her mother
I only lost a sister

it is hard to explain that I find myself laughing at something and then feel selfish for doing so
I know Linda would want me to live life to the fullest, and yet it seems like I am being selfish to enjoy things in life when she is gone

I have a mixed bag of emotions

All of this makes me want to reach across the huge valley that separates my eldest child from me, but it is a valley she dug and has kept the distance not the other way around.
Part of the time I just want to slap her and tell her to get over herself, life is too short to hold grudges or whatever it is she holds against me

but this is how she wants us to be, so therefore, I abide by her wishes, even though I hate it.

Losing Linda makes me want to hold my grandchildren all of the time and smother them with hugs and kisses.

My son Brian came up to me yesterday for no reason (my back was to him) and he hugged me that way
I asked “What was that for?”
And he said “Do I need a reason to hug my mother?”
He hugs me every day and I hug him every day when he leaves our home

Of all my children Brian is the most affectionate

and he holds an extra special place in my heart because of it.
Emily is affectionate too, although not as much as Brian
Matt is more like Paula, although he at least talks to me and will hug me if I reach out to hug him.

life is so short.
So much shorter than we all think.
No one is promised a tomorrow and that is quite scary to think about

I miss Linda even though we weren’t close at all
I miss knowing I can never get back that sister that I once had

and that makes me want to cry……..

God gave me you for the ups and downs, God gave me you for the day of doubt

when ever I feel like I’ve lost my way, and there are no words left to say

it’s true
God gave me you

if you could sail away where would you go?
I would like to sell across all the oceans, but  when I hear of the pirates that kill innocent people it makes me a bit leery

of course if there was no fear of being hurt I would want to sail all the seas on our world.
of course I would have to get over the motion sickness first.
Good thing dreaming is free.