so to entertain myself I have been looking at property in North Fort Myers Florida.

there are about six places I wouldn’t mind having.

I would love to live there and still fly up to Iowa one week a month to see our kids and grandkids.

and flying out of Fort Myers is reasonable when flying Allegiant Air.

now I just have to convince my husband to the move…….

🙂

we would still be near the beach and wouldn’t have to deal with icy cold temperatures.

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ever feel like you would like to disappear?

I’d love to just fly away and exist somewhere else for a few days.

Just to get past this depression I have going on.

 

I am bored with life.
I am trying to diet and that always puts me in a bad mood.

I need to eat less and exercise more.

well honestly when I am bored I eat and this job is so very boring.

 

I feel like all I do is complain anymore.

I never seem to be completely happy

I hate that feeling too.

I have a lot to be thankful for, but sometimes even that alludes me.

 

sigh…..

wish I could just hop on an airplane and go south for about five days all by myself.

darn it…….

I got a call yesterday from the office I had my mammogram at last week.
They called to tell me I had a mass on my right breast and that they needed me to come in today to look at it.
So I did first thing this morning and after a lot of tests and more x-rays, they discovered that is isn’t anything to worry about.
I have to tell you the last 22 hours was nerve-wracking thinking I may have breast cancer.
And while I know hundreds of women live through this cancer, it scared the hell  out of me.

But I am thrilled beyond belief that it was just extra breast tissue and nothing more serious.

Makes me high on life, if you want to know the truth.
🙂

believe it or not, going to Florida has become a need for me.

I CRAVE the sunshine and warm temperatures and the ocean waves rolling in and out.

if I could I would move there……..

I know yesterday I said I am trying hard to get past the wanting things and only doing things if I need to.

But I really honestly need a vacation to Florida

my spirits have lifted considerably just thinking about flying there in June.

I only wish it was closer……..

so here we are sitting on Tuesday, March 24th.

it is cold and very cloudy and windy here in Iowa.

Mother Nature teased us a week or so ago with warm temps and sunny cloudless days.

it makes being back in winter rather depressing.

I am at work bored and wishing I had some other kind of job that kept me busier.

oh I could wash windows or wipe down the railings but since I just did all of that yesterday there really  isn’t any desire to do it again today.

my job is often pointless.
I come in and clean for two hours so that everything is ready for the day, and with in five minutes of the kids coming in, it is all trashed again.

it is depressing.

but alas they do pay well so therefore I will probably stick it out………

I have bills that need to be eliminated  before I can buy a house.

I am a impatient person and want the house now, not a year or two from now.

darn it.

But I made this debt so I have to suffer through and get it paid off.

I said I wasn’t going to vacation again till I had it paid off, but my sisters and I may go to North Carolina in August and rent a cabin there for five days.

AND I so badly want to go to Florida, ocean side again.

I am forcing myself not to spend the money and buy the tickets and reserve the hotel, but damn it is hard.

Every day I talk myself out of it.

I could easily spend $2,500 or more on a week-long vacation to Florida.

And yes I was just there last month, even though it feels like several months ago now……..

Granted it was the gulf side not the ocean side, and I do so badly miss the ocean side.

I wish I could talk my husband into buying a condo down there and come back to Iowa once a month to see our children and grandchildren…..

but I doubt that would happen, or will happen…..

I try hard to think about the want versus the need.

I tend to day dream a lot.

There are several things I would like to have……but do I need them?

No.

I want a house but do I need one?

No, where we live is perfectly fine.

I want to vacation two or three times a year, but do I need to do that?

Heck no, I just want to.

maybe I just have too much time to think……..and dream….and wish………

good thing dreaming is free………

I so badly want a  house again .

there is one I wouldn’t mind having, I am not real crazy about the location, but I would love to have the house and it has a nice big shop out back for my husband to tinker in.

I really regret selling my house.

I never thought I would feel this way but I do.

especially now that it is going to be warmer again.

I want to be in my yard working.

darn it.
There just must be a way to get a house again, without waiting a year or two…….

We are on Spring break in Iowa City Iowa.
Which means for those of you that don’t know, that the University of Iowa college is not having classes this week nor are any of the Iowa City schools.

It is a big deal in Iowa, to have spring break.
Many people fly south and cramp the Floridians with their rowdiness and partying, but I imagine the Florida people enjoy the money they bring to that state.

 

I for one like Spring break because I can clean this school and it stays clean.
Sometimes I have taken the week off and even been one of those going to Florida, but not this year.
This year I am here at the school, working.

 

Yesterday I had all kinds of ambition.
Today I’m just not feeling it.
Today I would like to be home still snug in my bed.
Being lazy basically.

 

But maybe part of it is yesterday was 80 degrees and today the high is only going to reach 48.

which isn’t cold but considerably colder than yesterday.

I know, one would think I would have preferred to be off yesterday when it was nice.
But alas, I have always been a bit weird compared to what is the norm.

 

at any rate, hopefully when I get up and get moving I will find some ambition.

We had my daughter’s birthday party yesterday which just consisted of lunch and everyone hanging out

my four older grandchildren were playing outside and of course there is a lot of drama.

 

Mirielle likes to be the boss and if Keira dares to go against what Mirielle wants, then Mirielle gets nasty and tries taking the other kids away from her.

she was calling the kids losers and just being a brat.

 

I care about her deeply but I dislike the way she acts and how she always tries to “one up” Keira in everything.

 

My daughter-in-law Tonyia thinks Mirielle can do no wrong and will not discipline her when she behaves this way only telling her that she doesn’t do anything wrong and the kids are having a bad day.
Well HELLO, if all three kids are saying Mirielle is calling them “Losers” and being mean to them, then obviously the three of them aren’t all having bad days.
Mirielle is just being her bratty self.

Irks me beyond reason.
But alas….I just tell the younger three to steer clear of her and let her play by herself.

ugh……..

.

Today is my youngest daughters birthday.

she is 26.

of all my children she is the most like me and some times that is a painful thing to see.

i love her dearly, but seeing her make mistakes is painful.

hopefully she will grow up a bit more and become wiser.

It is also my sister Kathy’s birthday.

52 today.

I just learned of the recent passing of a boss of mine.
Shirley

She died last fall and I just now learned of it.
This picture shows an ill woman.

when I knew her and worked with her she was a bit heavy and it showed in her face.

this picture doesn’t do her justice.

I miss knowing she is gone.

another woman I worked with for years was Arlene.

  she passed away a year ago.
Both women were big influences on me
And I miss not knowing they are here on earth……..

but I know they are in Heaven with my Graciously Heavenly Father.