this is how I feel
Enough already!
so sick of winter!!!!
and I know I am not alone in feeling this way.
We got the ice last night so I was outside for over an hour putting ice melt down on all the sidewalks and stairs

they are predicting more snow for Thursday and Friday and possibly next Sunday and Monday.
And I want to bury my head in the sand and sleep until spring.

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today my eldest son is 30 years old.
this picture is of him and his wife this last Christmas.
He is a good kind young man and probably the most like me.
He looks more like me than he does his father.

We are having a dinner and cake and ice cream in his honor tonight.

this picture is of him and his siblings on his wedding day back in 2008

I am very lucky to be blessed with four wonderful children.
Happy Birthday son

I know this sounds strange, I know it, but it is there none the less.
A few weeks ago I was here at work cleaning and this thought popped into my head.
I needed to make a home for myself so I could exist under water.
this vessel would be able to stay at the bottom of the ocean, but would move with the tides.

of course I would have all the air and food I needed and a comfortable place to sleep and exist.
This vessel wouldn’t be huge, but it would be big enough that I could live and not have any fear of any predator (Sharks) hurting me

I don’t know why this popped into my head.
it is strange I know.

this bottle in this picture reminded me of my idea.
this bottle would float and be torn across the waves because it is so light and airless.

my vessel would be on the ocean bottom, creeping along and letting the ocean current take me where ever it wanted.

the idea is awesome to me.
imagine the things I could learn about life under the water?

so someone invent this contraption for me and I will give the ocean a year of my life to learn all I can about it.
🙂

look out your window and what will you see, twenty-four hours from now?
more snow!
I want to scream NO!!!!
We have had enough!!!
but unfortunately it is still only February here in Iowa and Mother Nature thinks we need more of the powdered white stuff before she lets us move into spring.

there is really nothing we can do about it and all the complaining in the world isn’t going to stop the snow from coming.

Guess I best get my winter boots and coat back out………..

                        

            

on this date five years ago a  lonely young man took his life.
he was suffering with depression and had no idea where to turn.
He was a nice kid.
I didn’t know him really well, but he was friends with my youngest daughter.

I remember the first time I saw him, he was barely two.
I remember then thinking, with those incredibly eyes he had, that he would be breaking a lot of girls hearts when he was a man.
Unfortunately he never made it to manhood.
his demons over came him.

It still saddens me to think of this  young man and the way his life ended.
Handsome sixteen year old  Ben.
I know you are in heaven with God, but I know you are missed here on earth

for anyone who reads me regularly, you know I have some pretty strange dreams.
they are vivid and practically like a movie set that I get to play my part in.
Last night was no exception.

I dreamt I was traveling on a long highway (no idea where)  it was long and tedious and took forever to get to the destination (again, no idea where that was either)

There was a huge family reunion.
And when I was a child our family reunions were close to 100 people.

So in my dream last night all of these people were there.
but the best thing was, my mother was there.
And I just sobbed when I saw her.
She pulled me into her arms, and I felt like a huge piece of myself was finally found as she hugged me.

Now I don’t think of my mother, nearly as often as I use to.
This April 4th she will have passed 19 years ago.

but she does occasionally show up in my dreams

Which is quite awesome.

In this dream last night she was as I remember her when I was a child.
Chubby and healthy as can be.

She died of cancer back in 1992 and she was skin and bones when she passed away.

still in this dream she was so very healthy and it was so great to be with her again.
🙂

I actually felt like coming home, when I was in her arms.
I miss you mom!
Thanks for visiting me in my dreams!
🙂

let’s end todays blogging on a happy note!
I am happy.

I have wonderful children, fantastically beautifully wonderful grandchildren and I have a man who loves me and siblings that I cherish.
I have my health and all of my family is healthy

I miss my eldest child, but that is her doing not mine.
So over all I am a happy person.
Still need to lose weight and I still need to stop spending money and save!
But over all life is  good!!!
🙂

If I should leave this world any time soon, I want those that I love, to know I love them.
without writing them each a letter, I feel I have no way to let them know how I feel about them, should I leave this world unexpectedly.
No I am not planning on dying.
But we are all owed a death and I know that I am not above that exception.

I have a letter written.
It is locked away and no one has seen it.
The odd thing is, no one will because only I know the password to retrieve it.

So let me say here, If I die today, I love my children and husband very much.
I adore and love so much, and would give my life for any one of my grandchildren.
I love my siblings dearly and the very few friends I have, already know that I love them.

I cherish life.
I sometimes am bored with it, but that is my own fault and the limitations I put on myself.

When I die, I hope God will have his arms wide open and welcome me into Heaven where I know my mother and all those who have died before me, are.

maybe to some of you this is a morbid subject.

But to me it isn’t.
I am not afraid to die.
My only regret would be is to not be able to see my grandchildren grow up and marry and have children of their own.

I use to think I would live to be 100

And maybe I will.
Who knows?
only God has that answer.

still it is something to think about…….

     

the beautiful misty haze of an early morning dawn.
it’s tranquil and gentle and amazingly kind

it reminds me of our mornings on the lake when we were in Tennessee.
The peacefulness, the complete beauty of the sun rising as the haze floats off the water.

there is so much beauty in our world.
I wish people would stop and see it more often than they do.

our world is going to hell in a hand basket.
it is so incredibly sad how people have to kill each other just for the sport of it.
Those poor Americans sailing around the world to be murdered by those Pirates in the high seas.

The abuse and constant protesting going on in the middle east.

isn’t the earth quakes and hurricanes enough to get people to realize that life is so very precious?

Makes me ache to think people are so selfish and heartless.

My husband said that the American Sailors  should have known better than to be out there sailing alone.
Yes maybe they should have, and if they had another chance I am betting they would have steered clear of those pirated waters.
that hindsight thing is amazing.

but it is a very sad day when you can’t do something you love, and live life wanting to enjoy your retirement in the way you see fit.

Unfortunately it ended badly for them.
I only hope other people will use this as an example and not go where they shouldn’t.

Again Lord help us here down on earth.
We sure do need the help!
Amen.