I am feeling flu-ish tonight.
Not sure why.
Maybe it was what I had for supper?
I had a grilled ham and cheese sandwich.
But I feel like I could puke and I have a horrific headache.
what is up with that?
The only thing I can think is I got the flu from my grand-daughter Kayla.
Who was sick last Saturday night when I had her.
Ugh.
Hate feeling sick, NOT that any one loves it, but jesh…..I hope it goes away by morning…..

Although honestly I still would prefer to be on the beach, soaking up the rays and enjoying the sound of the waves and sea gulls

while my husband drives through Colorado today, I think about being there with him, while I sit here at work…..

and the beautiful scenery he is getting to see as he drives.
Yes I am envious.

and yes I wish I was there to see all the beauty he is getting to see today.

why do I partake in this idiotic behavior?
why do I expect a different outcome every time I lean towards a certain direction?
Why am I so stupid?
I read a saying once that went like this
“if you do what you always do, you will get the reaction you have always gotten”

and while I know this, I still find myself trying to break free of this and hope for a better outcome.
To no avail.
why am I so idiotic?
and when will I ever learn?

this picture speaks to me.
I can’t even explain why.
it just seems so awesome and real
It is a picture of my grand-daughter Mirielle, (she is the one in the middle) with her two cousins, (her mother’s brother’s kids)

it has so much depth and such a story in this one little picture.
I just love it!
🙂

I should have called in sick today.
I have a sinus headache and am sneezing and just all the way around wish I was still home in bed.
I didn’t call in because I had asked for this week off to go to Vegas with my husband, but was denied, so if I had called in sick they probably would have thought that I went to Vegas anyway.
Maybe tomorrow, depending on how I feel……

I hate being ignored.
I hate it with a passion.
I hate putting myself out there, making the effort and being ignored time and again.
I realize we all get busy with our lives but if someone puts forth the effort to talk to you and keep in contact with you, and you put forth no effort to respond, that to me is quite rude.
Don’t pretend I’m not here, or that you don’t have time for me.
A little note is just curtsy

a quick hello on the phone hardly cost a thing.
Ignoring me is a life long sting that I don’t forgive easily.

a mother needs her own time or down time as I like to call it.
A mother needs to be loved and appreciated

a mother needs to have patience

laughter

an occasional nap

a mother needs support from her husband

a mother needs freedom from guilt

a mother needs adult conversations

a mother needs balance and understanding.

a mother needs peace

and a mother needs hope

Since it is almost mother’s day and my youngest daughter will become a mother for the first time here in a few weeks, I think of all the things a mother needs.
It is tough being a mother.
it is tough to know that the decisions you make will not only affect your life but the life of your child.
When you become a mother you no longer are able to put yourself first.
your needs come behind that of your child.
your heart is worn on your sleeve

your inability to grasp any sort of life without it affecting your child in some way.

a mother needs all of these things.
but most of all a mother needs to be understood

what to write about today?
I am sitting here at work, just finished my breakfast and have a few minutes before the clock ticks down to my official time to begin work.

Yesterday while eating with my children out of the blue my younger son Matt says a line from a movie

When he was a child, that was a game we played in the car on our long trips to Missouri to see my youngest sister and her family.
one of us would say a line in a movie and the others would try to guess.
Like for instance “They just go round and round”
What line is that from?
“The Truman Show” with Jim Carey.

I know to some people it is a silly thing but when a child is young it is fun to make up games they enjoy.
It brought back wonderful memories to just have him drop a line like that yesterday.
We just smiled at each other over the memory.

my youngest daughter Emily is miserable and feeling quite uncomfortable being so pregnant.
She is quite huge and I can see how uncomfortable she must be.
Her hips were bothering her a lot and I’m sure it all has to do with carrying around that thirty-five extra pounds.
She isn’t a big person to begin with.
And her hips are quite small, so I have to wonder how easy it will be to have a baby for her.

My eldest son Brian and his family were there too and while I didn’t feel like we got a lot of visiting done, it was enjoyable to spend time with the three out of my four children.

My little Kayla was still sick as of seven pm last night with a temp of 103, and I didn’t get to see her yesterday but I am hoping she is better today.

My husband called and said they were going to stop in Grand Junction last night.
And that they had seen quite a bit of snow high up on the mountains and even some sleet on the roads as they were driving.

Odd because last year when he and my oldest daughter Paula and I were coming home from Vegas we didn’t run into any bad weather until we were coming down from the rocky mountains above Denver.

it is another Monday.
And while I’m not thrilled with this day, it is only a four-day week for me this week, so….I am content with that.
🙂