there is no color as beautiful as this one

I so love the color green.
🙂

I think it might be God’s favorite color too, because it is everywhere!
🙂

if only I could use this excuse.
🙂

 

I’m yearning to go on vacation again.
I canceled my vacation in September simply because I thought there are other things to spend my money on and it would cost me a good $1500 to vacation to Arizona like I planned.
Still I am itching to go on vacation.
I won’t go though.

but it is fun to dream of the mountains.

I miss them

🙂

I don’t know who wrote this quote, but my principal has it up on the wall in the staff bathrooms

 

“Having a bad day?  Put your hand over your heart.  Feel that? It is called purpose.  You are a live for a reason.  Don’t give up”

and every day I see that and I think, I should put that down on my blog

So there you have it.
🙂

I am a lazy person

You can tell by looking at me how lazy I am since I am 70 pounds heavier than I should be.
It is disgusting when I think about it and when I see pictures of myself and or see myself in a mirror I want to puke, I am so fat

 

however I keep making excuses why I don’t exercise and or lose weight.

I make excuses because I am fat and lazy.

I really do want to be thinner.
I want to be seventy pounds lighter.

and yet I do nothing to start that process.

What I probably need is someone to work out with me and or diet with me

someone I have to be accountable to.

Ugh.
Why did I have to inherit my mother’s metabolism?
why not my Aunt Loretta’s ?

darn it.
😦

you know I think I have it down pat.
I think  it is gone and I have cleared my head of what once was.
And all it takes is a glimpse of you and there I go falling in love all over again.

memories come flooding back

regrets and wishes of what could have been evade my thoughts.

I have prayed for years, literally YEARS for my Lord to help me get over you
And I can say finally He has answered those prayers.

I don’t yearn for what once was.
I don’t miss you and or ache for you like I once did.

so why do I feel like I fall in love all over again, every time I bump into you?

is this the devil wreaking havoc on my mind?
is the devil still after my soul?

I don’t try and see you.
I actually avoid it

But there you were, walking into the store I was in with my grand daughters, and my heart does a flip-flop and there I am, falling in love all over again.

I wish it wasn’t so.

but denying it will never change it.

If I never see you again, or if I died tomorrow…………I will never be able to stop loving you.

So yesterday for a few hours it was just me and Kayla in the pool.

I told her that I was going to take her and her sister home in a few hours and she said to me and I quote “I want to live with you Nana always.  My mom is so mean.  When you go to work tomorrow you need to call the police and tell them how mean she is so I can come and live with you”
🙂
I laughed at her and said “You only want to come and live with me because Mom makes you mind”
And she smiled and said “Yep”
🙂

she is still so innocent and sweet

I am a very fortunate woman to have four beautiful grandchildren

 

ever think about what you would do if you were rich?
Ever let that little dream become a fantasy?

I think about it every now and then.
I don’t need to be millionaire rich.
not at all.

I would like about  $100,000, either winning it in the lottery or someone loaning me the money and I would pay them back….

but of course winning it and not having to pay it back would even be better.
🙂

I would buy some land and build a log cabin house on it.
If I won $100,000

of course this would come after paying off my bills and selling my current house.

I would like to have no other bills besides a house payment, insurance on the house and of course taxes on it.
It would be nice not to have any credit card bills and or car payments.

sigh.
of course I made this dept myself and I do realize it.
But wouldn’t it be nice to not have dept?
Just to enjoy life and be pretty much dept free…..

 

good thing dreaming is free…..

🙂

the weekend flew by as they always do.
It was a great day yesterday with the grandkids and my children all there.
It was enjoyable

Kayla and I were in the pool for five hours.
Aaron had to go to his daddy’s so he was only in the pool for ninety minutes or so.
Keira went to watch Mirielle play softball and then they came back and swam for another two hours before I took them all home.
It was very pretty out, a bit humid but you can’t tell that when you are in the pool.

 

and here it is Monday morning again and I am at work.
Guess I best get moving here as my official start time started almost fifteen minutes ago.
🙂

  (if Only)