Archive for October 25, 2011

Remembering   3 comments

my sister passed away two weeks ago today and I miss her
I miss knowing she won’t be there to talk to, and I miss knowing she never will again

her daughter asked me yesterday how I am really doing?
How do you explain?
I know she knows how it is, because she lost her mother
I only lost a sister

it is hard to explain that I find myself laughing at something and then feel selfish for doing so
I know Linda would want me to live life to the fullest, and yet it seems like I am being selfish to enjoy things in life when she is gone

I have a mixed bag of emotions

All of this makes me want to reach across the huge valley that separates my eldest child from me, but it is a valley she dug and has kept the distance not the other way around.
Part of the time I just want to slap her and tell her to get over herself, life is too short to hold grudges or whatever it is she holds against me

but this is how she wants us to be, so therefore, I abide by her wishes, even though I hate it.

Losing Linda makes me want to hold my grandchildren all of the time and smother them with hugs and kisses.

My son Brian came up to me yesterday for no reason (my back was to him) and he hugged me that way
I asked “What was that for?”
And he said “Do I need a reason to hug my mother?”
He hugs me every day and I hug him every day when he leaves our home

Of all my children Brian is the most affectionate

and he holds an extra special place in my heart because of it.
Emily is affectionate too, although not as much as Brian
Matt is more like Paula, although he at least talks to me and will hug me if I reach out to hug him.

life is so short.
So much shorter than we all think.
No one is promised a tomorrow and that is quite scary to think about

I miss Linda even though we weren’t close at all
I miss knowing I can never get back that sister that I once had

and that makes me want to cry……..

Posted October 25, 2011 by Marge in family, heartfelt, ramblings

God gave me you   Leave a comment

God gave me you for the ups and downs, God gave me you for the day of doubt

when ever I feel like I’ve lost my way, and there are no words left to say

it’s true
God gave me you

Posted October 25, 2011 by Marge in God, heartfelt, ramblings

sail away   Leave a comment

if you could sail away where would you go?
I would like to sell across all the oceans, but  when I hear of the pirates that kill innocent people it makes me a bit leery

of course if there was no fear of being hurt I would want to sail all the seas on our world.
of course I would have to get over the motion sickness first.
Good thing dreaming is free.

Posted October 25, 2011 by Marge in ramblings

minding my own business   Leave a comment

too funny!

Posted October 25, 2011 by Marge in ramblings

all is not exactly as you see it   Leave a comment

 deep inside the emotions are serene

 deep inside the temper is tame

you don’t know me as well as you think you do

but unfortunately I can’t say the same

I love you but actually I want to hate you

you take and never give back

we aren’t the same and never will be

it’s not me, it’s you and what you lack

no feelings, no heart, no emotions

it’s like I am talking to a stone

I hate you but really I love you

and wish with everything within me these feelings were just gone

Posted October 25, 2011 by Marge in heartfelt, ramblings