14 weeks ago today~   Leave a comment

14 weeks ago today started out like any other day.

Okay not quite, I knew I would be spending the night at Cyndi’s side at the nursing home and had packed my bag for two nights with her.

I left work early, got myself some chicken alfredo at Pizza Hut and went to the nursing home to release my eldest sister Carolyn from her duties of staying with Cyndi,  so she could go home for a few nights.

Cyndi was moaning but sleeping and not at all responsive to anyone talking to her.

Once in a while she would moan “mom” but for the most part she was quiet except for her moaning.

I got there at 3.

5 hours and twelve minutes later she was dying in front of me.

It was horrifically awful and still is every time I think about it.

It seems hard to believe it has been 14 weeks, and yet it almost seems like yesterday.

I miss her so much.

And while I didn’t see her every day and sometimes would go weeks without seeing her, just knowing she isn’t here on this earth for me to see and talk to still hurts.

Friday’s will never be the same for me.

Because I lost Cyndi on a Friday.

I know without a doubt she is in Heaven looking down on all of us.

I sometimes feel her near me as I am doing something.

I felt her about fifteen minutes ago as I was climbing up the steps here at work.

I just felt her spirit, almost like a kiss on the cheek.

It was wonderful.

I never realized how much she meant to me when she was alive.

Damn it.

But I sure do realize it now, now that it is too late.

me-and-cyndi

Me and Cyndi

6/21/2016

 

Posted January 6, 2017 by Marge in family, ramblings

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