It is Saturday morning.

I so love my weekends.

They don’t come around often enough.

 

Got the laundry almost finished and some cookies baked.

 

Right now I have the first season of Game Of Thrones on.

It is basically back ground noise.

I have seen the series twice and since there really isn’t anything on TV I have this on.

 

WE have our four youngest grandchildren later and over night and no great plans for anything other then that.

We went to Red Lobster last night for dinner and I was disappointed.

The steak was tough and the shrimp greasy.

I have never been disappointed in Red Lobster before.

I would have preferred to go to Texas Roadhouse but my husband chose Red Lobster so that is where we went.

I should go clean out my car, it needs it badly, but maybe tomorrow

🙂
I am having a lazy day today.

 

Wish I was here……

I have to admit when Cyndi was alive, I was tolerant of her a lot of the time because she could be an in  your face kind of person.

She said things as they were.

She didn’t beat around the bush about it.

Some people like people like that but I always thought she could have used more finesse.

We didn’t hang out much.

My kids and her kids were never close.

We didn’t see each other more then once a month if that…..and some times it was longer then that.

I know hindsight is a wonderful thing…….and I wish I could change things.

 

In thirteen hours and 35 minutes it will be three weeks to the minute that Cyndi passed away.

I feel like it has been a lot longer then that.

I feel like it has been years already.

I miss her.

I wish I had been a better sister to her.

I wish and hope and pray she knew how much I loved her.

One of the last things she did to me about four days before she died was put her around  my shoulders and give me a side hug as I sat next to her on her bed.

I will treasure that always.

I still find it hard to believe that she is gone.

I wish she wasn’t.

I would love to talk to her and tell her once again how much I love her.

I have this picture on my desk in my den at home

And every evening before I go to bed I look at it and kiss it and tell her I love and miss her.

I hope she can hear me.

 

 

 

Don’t know why but I just yearn to be at the beach.

Yearn for it, ache for it, wish for it.

Darn it.

I guess because I feel like I need a change

And sunshine and warmth are calling to me.

Not that it is horribly cold in Iowa.

It’s not.

It is fall and therefore it is cooler.

But not cold.

But I want to be soaking up the rays and just existing at the beach for a week or two.

Sigh.

One would think I am never happy but of course that just isn’t true.

I am happy, I just want to be at the beach and be happy.

🙂

With all the hoopla on who will be president, and with all the killings in our world, it is the simple things in life that bring me the greatest joy.

My grandchildren are my loves.

I love them as much as I love my own kids.

They are so wonderful and independent and different in so many ways.

They bring me such wonderful joy.

Bailey is two and a drama princess.

She can turn on the tears faster then she can blink her beautiful brown eyes at you.

She is the smartest two year old child that I have ever met.

Aaron our only grandson is 6 and ornery and independent and quite stingy with his hugs.

He hates being wrong and doesn’t like to share his feelings very often.

Kayla who will be 8 next month, is so incredibly smart and a thinker and always struggling to be accepted for who she is and her quirky ideas.

Keira is 10 and Kayla’s older sister and the two are as different as night and day.

Kayla struggles with her weight while Keira is model thin.   Keira struggles with school while Kayla is as smart as a whip.

Keira always gives Kayla a hard time about everything and Kayla has a heart of gold.

Mirielle is  tall and thin and pretty  and quite independent.

She will be 14 in November.

I am a truly blessed woman to have these five children in my life.

They bring me so much wonderful joy.

And maybe in another year I will get one more.

🙂

I have been reading Cyndi’s blog.

It is msdane.wordpress.com

It saddens me to read about things she said and did, and then now to think she isn’t here anymore.

I have been able to accept it more these last few days but that is mostly due to going home and sorting through her things.

She is gone, she isn’t coming back and I have to accept that.

And I do.

But I miss her.

I miss knowing I can’t pick up the phone and call her.

I miss seeing her.

I just miss her.

 

Granted I know as life continues that the missing her will grow less and less.

It took me ten years to get over aching for mom.

I imagine losing Cyndi will take about as long.

No one is promised a tomorrow……life can change in an instant.

I need to pay closer attention to those that are still here with me.

 

 

 

 

isn’t this picture beautiful?

I couldn’t resist to put another one on my blog.

But this is so pretty.

 

 

I miss the ocean which prompts me to think I need to vacation there again in the spring.

Should I spend a couple thousand just to do that?
When I could pay off a bill or put it towards the house?
Sigh~

indecisions…..

I can not wait for my sister Kathy to become a grandmother.

It is so wonderful!!!
Grandchildren are the best gifts from God.

 

Every where one looks there are the brilliant colors of fall.

Oranges and reds, yellows and rustic browns.

I so love fall.

I so love the show mother nature graces us with.

And the temperatures are wonderful too.

🙂

I have a very small office here at work.

So small that I did away with a fairly good sized wooden desk to make more room in my small office.

I am using a student desk to hold my laptop and I have a filing cabinet (just got) to hold all I had in the desk.

I don’t like it.

None of it.

It feels too cramped.

Too small.

I also have  four foot fridge sitting on another student desk right next to me.

Sigh.

I have half a mind to bring a desk from home, but then I would have to share it with others and have them mark it up, which doesn’t appeal to me, so I guess I won’t.

of course I also have all custodial supplies in here as well and a slop sink for cleaning out anything and everything.

Before I came here there wasn’t a custodial office.

I made this my office because I have to have a place to go to.

To decompress and get away from everyone.

sigh.

I know I never sound happy.

😦

oh and it is going to be 84 degrees today with 83% humidity.

Ugh.

I was so hoping we were done with the hot and humid crap……

After today they say…..

😦