Fog~   Leave a comment

I am quite confused at my state of mind.

I feel like I am living in a fog.

My sister Cyndi died 14 days ago and I still can’t seem to wrap my head around it.

It feels like I am dreaming and can’t wake up.

I know she died.

I was with her when she took her last breath.

But for some reason it seems inconceivable to me that she is gone.

I just don’t understand why I can’t accept it.

It is so weird.

And maybe saying I can’t accept it is the wrong choice of words.

It is more that I can’t believe it is true.

I don’t know…..


She has been a part of my life all of my life.

She took care of me more when I was a child then my own mother did.

Yes we had our differences.

She was more of an in your face kind of person.

She was more, “it is my way or the highway” kind of person.

I loved her dearly but I didn’t always agree with her and or even like things she said.


As adults I am closer to my two younger sisters then I ever was  with her.

So why am I having such a hard time of it?

I guess it is just because she has always been there, and now she isn’t.

She has left a huge void in my family with her passing.

I miss her dearly.


This was her last June.

Love you Cyndi.





Posted October 13, 2016 by Marge in family, heartfelt, ramblings

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