Archive for January 25, 2016

calming   Leave a comment

one

watching the ocean roll in and out is calming to me.

I may just have to take the money and go to Florida, even if I have to go by myself…..

Posted January 25, 2016 by Marge in ramblings

why?   1 comment

why does everything have to be a freaking struggle?

why can’t it just flow and be easy?

I actually cursed God a few times earlier.
I was so freaking pissed.

Now of course I feel horrible.

I never take the Lord’s name in vain.

NEVER!
Unless I am really pissed.

I sit there begging for His help

For five minutes I am in tears begging for His help

And get nothing.

Hence the cursing Him.

Of course it finally worked what I was trying to do and I feel horrible cursing Him, but I just don’t understand why things have to be so difficult?

Is He trying to teach me something?

Punish me for something?

I live my life on the straight and narrow.

no I am not perfect but I am trying to be as Christian like as I can.

Yes there is room for improvement but shouldn’t things be easier because I am doing so well?

it is freaking frustrating.

Some days I just wish life would end so there for I would not have to deal with all this struggle.

Do I really want to die?
No, but this struggling day in and day out just brings me further and further down.

ugh.

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Posted January 25, 2016 by Marge in God, heartfelt, ramblings