wish I was standing here enjoying the wonderful ocean tides.

Ahh….I miss the Atlantic Ocean….

 

 

I’ve come to realize I am a water girl.

I love being near the water.
Weather it is the ocean or lake or a river…..I tend to gravitate to water.

Maybe because I grew up next to the Iowa river?

🙂

these pictures remind me of Tennessee.

 

I have been in a funk.

I can’t even explain why except to say I am trying to lose weight so therefore I am cutting back and excluding fattening foods and sugars.

It is tough but I haven’t had a pop or any candy for 8 days now.

I think this time of year has gotten me down too, but every day is one day closer to spring and I just need to remind myself of that.

I think too I am a bit down due to the man I am married to and his inability to try and be younger.

I told my sister last week that my husband acts like he is 70 instead of 58.

He has no desire to do anything and hates when I or one of our kids suggest something that would require him to do a little work.

He actually resents it.

Still I need to learn to do things without him and let him be the old man he wants to be.

There are so many things I want to do yet in life.

I just need to do them, and not wait for him to want to do them as well.

There is another part of me one that no one sees or even wants…..and I have let that part of me basically die.

I can’t resurrect it because of my marriage vows and what I know God wants and expects of me.

But I do know it is there and I know it is hidden deep inside me….

probably forever to be denied.

I try and put on a good front to everyone.

I only tell my one sister when I am having a down or depressing day.

No one can help me out of my funk because it is a part of who I am.

 

My grandchildren are my greatest blessings as are my own children.

My life is good in so many ways….

But and there is always that but…..

Like I use to say……when do I get to be me?

Those days are long gone……

~