Archive for May 1, 2013

light bulb moment   Leave a comment

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for the past six months or so, especially the last two months, I have thought of little else but of divorcing my husband and moving to Iowa City and finding me

It took going to Florida with my sister-in-law and her husband to make me realize how stupid I have been.

True Rick doesn’t excite me anymore

We live as brother and sister instead of husband and wife and I find that incredibly sad.
But being with my in-laws last week was like having a light bulb go off in my head

it was an ahhhh  moment

I realized once again that no one promised married life would be full of excitement and wonderfulness forever

we are both growing older

True Rick is growing older much faster than I am

but that doesn’t mean he isn’t worthy of being loved

yes it is a different kind of love than before.

but it still is love

I know he loves me
Yes he has gotten very lazy in showing me that he still loves me, but deep down I know he does
And I do love him
True the passion isn’t there and we are friends more than anything else, but we have a life that we have built that is decent and good, most of the time.

Watching my sister-in-law basically be the rock her husband ropes himself around, made me realize I have fallen very short of being a good wife.

I have thought of ME and not US.

and for that I am deeply pained

As the saying goes above……we fixed it we didn’t throw it away

I can not believe I was so selfish and stupid these last six months

True I may very well find myself feeling depressed and thinking “isn’t there more to life than this?”  but I have chosen to marry this man, not once but twice

and I vowed “Till death do us part”
I am quite sure God expects me to be right where I am

I actually expect it myself.
And there are ways to find me, while I am still an Us with Rick.

thank God that light bulb moment came before I did something incredibly stupid.

Posted May 1, 2013 by Marge in God, heartfelt, my loves, ramblings

My Leo   Leave a comment

love my leo

I adore this man

Literally adore him
In my opinion he is the greatest actor out there

No one else seems to get that but me.
But he is a fantastic actor

I just love him and can’t wait to see “The Great Gatsby”
🙂

Posted May 1, 2013 by Marge in ramblings

Paula   Leave a comment

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my eldest child, Paula wrote me a small note today telling me she plans on coming to Iowa in either May or June.
She also told me she is moving to Portland in July.

I assume she means Portland Oregon.
Not one hundred percent sure on that though.

I may see if I can get her to agree to meet up with some of my sisters if they want.
I am quite sure Kathy will want to see her.
and maybe the others will as well.

She lives in Wisconsin now, but we only see her once or twice a year.

My four children in this picture, from left to right, Matt, Emily, Paula and Brian.

🙂

Posted May 1, 2013 by Marge in family, heartfelt, my loves, ramblings

strained muscle   Leave a comment

before I went on vacation I pulled a muscle in my chest

while I was on vacation it recovered

and first thing on Monday I re strained the same muscle

I just finished putting 80 chairs down for a 20 minute band concert here today at the school, and am now feeling the pain of the strained muscle again

not to mention my back feels like it has spasms going up and down it.

this getting old is for the freaking birds.
😦

cat_mouse_animated

sometimes I feel just like this picture.
I am the mouse and the cat is just playing with me until he gets bored and then will eat me.

 

Posted May 1, 2013 by Marge in heartfelt, ramblings

just a reminder   Leave a comment

in a blink of an eye

as I was driving to work this morning the song “Chiseled in Stone” came on

you don’t know about sadness

you don’t know about lonely

till it’s chiseled in stone

just a few words to the song

that song, like this saying should remind us all to not take each other (your loved ones) for granted.

no one is promised a tomorrow.

I need to be reminded of this often.

Posted May 1, 2013 by Marge in heartfelt, ramblings