Archive for January 6, 2011

falling in and falling out of love   Leave a comment

for anyone who has been married for any length of time, I think they would agree with me when I say, in marriage you fall in and out of love.

I have been married 29 years.
it will be 30 in August.

and while we have had our trials and tribulations…..my husband has always stuck it out with me.
Basically I grew up being married.
I never had a father figure when I was a child, the closest to that was my sister’s husband Bob.
and I  was only with him when I  stayed over night with my niece

which was quite often when I was a kid.

I didn’t have a father and Rick became that for me in many small ways as I grew up being married to him.

looking back at my marriage, the first time we wed, I was 17 and pregnant with my eldest child.
Yes alas…a child having a child.
but Rick swore he loved me and wanted to get married.
So we did.

14 years and four children later, I decided I didn’t want to be married to this man who only saw things black and white and refused to meet me even half way where things were concerned.
in his mind it was his way or no way.

We divorced and lived a part for three years, dating off and on in that three years.

I won’t lie to you dear reader, the reason I remarried him was more for putting my family back together than because I was truly madly in love with Rick.
I wasn’t.
He is a good man, strong and a decent human being.
he is a very hard worker and a great provider.
But he is not romantic at all, and even when I hint for him to be, he still isn’t.
(And please don’t tell me if I was more romantic he would be.  Trust me that doesn’t work with him)

He is very strong willed, very definite on what is wrong and what is right and not always the easiest person to talk to.

But he has stuck by me, and he does love me.
Maybe not as he once did when I was seventeen and the first years of our marriage, but anyone who has been married knows, love changes.

that is where the falling in and out of love comes in.
I love him.
I do.
No it isn’t passionately but passion only gets a person so far…….

he is stable, basically an anchor for me and I know through thick and thin, good or bad…….he will always be there for me.

We share four beautiful children together.
We share four amazingly wonderful grandchildren together.
We are a unit, he and I

And again while we may not be completely unbelievably wonderfully in love……..we are each other’s best friend and we do work on making the marriage work.

Someone who has never been married might think, ‘work at your marriage why?’
Simple, because it isn’t always easy.

Too many people now a days just throw in the towel and I won’t lie to you, I have often thought of throwing in the towel myself.

When it comes right down to it my husband and I don’t have a lot in common.
we don’t share the same interests at all, but……..we don’t have to.
Sometimes it is better to have your own interests as long as it doesn’t do anything to jeopardize the marriage vows.

Today if you would ask me I would say yes I love my husband and I am happy to be his wife.
I don’t always feel this way and sometimes his crankiness and almost hatefulness definitely makes me want to get as far away from him as I can.

Other times I look at him and think “how did I end up with this stranger?’

but I know, I am no picnic to live with and I know I have so many faults that Rick should be commended for sticking it out with me.

Life is all about balance, faithfulness, honesty and the ability to give and take every minute of every day.

Life is good
And I am a blessed woman.

and I know Rick is a keeper and worth holding on to.

🙂

Posted January 6, 2011 by Marge in family, ramblings

I wonder   Leave a comment

I wonder what this new year will bring?

I am turning 50 this year.
In four months and 25 days.

and while turning 50 doesn’t bother me a bit…..I do have to wonder how long I will live.

Does anyone else think along these lines?
some days I feel like I’m 50 going on 70 and other days I feel about 30 again.

strange I know, but it is true none the less.

the big 50 will grant me a very nice vacation this year.
We will be going to The Grand Canyon for sure, but I am thinking maybe we should visit a beach before or after we go to Arizona.
one only turns 50 once!

So I say strike up the band and let’s have a party!

Ideally I would love it if my children and their families could join us on this vacation.
But I am guessing they probably won’t feel like they can afford it, or take that much time off of work.

Still……..I am looking forward to it………weather it is just my husband and I, or with the kids and grandkids.
🙂

Posted January 6, 2011 by Marge in ramblings