Archive for August 3, 2010

hello, is it me you are looking for?   1 comment

I realize not too many of my readers are married and I realize too they probably can’t help me with this situation but I have come to find that my husband and I can go hours with out really talking to each other.
I remember several years ago, when we were dining one day, that a married couple a few tables away from us, just sat there and never once talked to each other.
The woman was reading the paper, and the man was eating, looking down at his plate and I thought then, how sad.

Now I see that we have almost become that couple.
I hate it.

I ask him what he is thinking?
and I get a brief answer and we are back to not talking again.

It isn’t all of the time, but I do notice it more and more as the months go by.

We will head to Iowa City and there are no words between us.
We head back home again and if I don’t innate the conversation we don’t talk.

I wonder….is he happy?
I have asked him several times in the last few years and he says he is.

But….just the other day, we were driving towards Wal-Mart, and a car a head of us had its left turning signal on, and there was no place on the highway to turn left.
Rick passed the car (he was driving) and said as he passed ‘Your left turn signal is on dick head”
I shook my head and said “Oh Richard”
and he said “Oh Marjorie”
And that was it for a moment.
Finally I said, “Do you resent me saying something to you about what you said to that driver?”
(Even though the driver hadn’t heard him)
and his answer was “I don’t see why you need to comment about it at all”
I think he has depression issues, but he of course doesn’t.
I think sometimes he is a very unhappy man.
I think saying that to the driver although, the driver couldn’t hear, I think there is anger there.
??
Is that just me?
I don’t know about him.
Sometimes I feel like we are strangers…..

other times we can just look at each other and smile and we both know that the other one is thinking….

I do think he is old before his time.
He never wants to do anything.
oh he will mow the lawn because it is required of him, but other than that, he is content to sit and watch TV and or sit on the front porch swing.
he doesn’t want anyone making demands on him.

and if he can get out of doing anything, he will…..

I ask him often if he is feeling well…….
Maybe I am hounding him and everything is fine?
 or maybe I am making a mountain out of a mole hill………….

???

Posted August 3, 2010 by Marge in Uncategorized

the audacity of it all   1 comment

the audacity of it all……making me wake up with the alarm and forcing me to come to work again………

how dare life throw me this curve ball?
how dare the night fly by so quickly and that damn alarm begin ringing to  let me know it was four forty-five am once again.

I feel like I live here at work and I swear it seems never-ending.
I have lost all desire to clean this place.
I have lost all hope of it being easier soon…..

and the thing of it is, if I don’t get my crap together I will be forever…….stuck here…….

😦

Posted August 3, 2010 by Marge in ramblings