Archive for June 19, 2010

Ramblings   Leave a comment

so my husband took off for Wilton to put up a swing set I bought for Keira for her birthday.
I was asked not to go too because my eldest daughter will be there and if you have read any of my previous blogs you know she is estranged from me.
I have no clue why.
Other than to say she has told me that she can not have a fulfilling relationship with her siblings and father if I am around.

So I get left out.
Do I feel sorry for myself?
No not any more.
I did at first when she told me this last August but I have come to terms with it.

I can not force her to have a relationship with me.
Just like I couldn’t force someone I loved heart and soul, to want to spend his life with me.

things happen, people have to do what they have to do and I make the best of it.
What choice do I have?
none.

I wrote in a previous blog months ago that when my Uncle was told he had six months to live, IF that was me, I would  not contact my eldest child and I wouldn’t want anyone else to either.

She has chosen to exclude me from her life.
her choice not mine, so therefore why should she be told about my impending death?
I am going to Iowa City here in an hour, what is to say I’m not going to die on the way there or back?

Like a lost love years ago, who decided I wasn’t what he wanted, I am not what my eldest child wants for a mother.
So…..I live with it.

As a fellow blogger told me the other day, I have to find the things that make me happy, and find my own little heaven here on earth and let go of the things I can not change.
And he is right!

life is too short to dwell on what other people do or think or feel.
I can go on knowing I am a good person with a generous heart who loves passionately.

I have no doubt in my mind that when I reach the Perle Gates to Heaven the good Lord will welcome me with open arms!
🙂
I have three children who love me, four beautiful grandchildren I adore and my husbands love.
What more do I need but God?
and I have Him too.
🙂

Posted June 19, 2010 by Marge in family, God, my loves, ramblings

a busy weekend   Leave a comment

it is Saturday morning, sixty forty am, and the sun is shining and the birds are chirping away outside.
I have a busy weekend but right now it is just nice to sit here and relax.
I could have slept longer and probably should have tired to but….with so much to do, it seemed silly to lay there in bed.

Today starts my forever, never-ending building checks on weekends and holidays since my night custodian retired.
That means every day of my life I have to drive into Iowa City to do the building check on my days off.
Fun fun

And then we have Keira’s birthday party tonight and in between that I have to clean and go shopping with my  youngest daughter.

Tomorrow is another trip to the city where we will get groceries too after the building check.
And then a family picnic on my husband’s side of the family.

Too busy for my liking but what does one do?
Enjoy it as it comes and breathe.
🙂

Posted June 19, 2010 by Marge in ramblings