Archive for June 19, 2010

Ramblings   Leave a comment

so my husband took off for Wilton to put up a swing set I bought for Keira for her birthday.
I was asked not to go too because my eldest daughter will be there and if you have read any of my previous blogs you know she is estranged from me.
I have no clue why.
Other than to say she has told me that she can not have a fulfilling relationship with her siblings and father if I am around.

So I get left out.
Do I feel sorry for myself?
No not any more.
I did at first when she told me this last August but I have come to terms with it.

I can not force her to have a relationship with me.
Just like I couldn’t force someone I loved heart and soul, to want to spend his life with me.

things happen, people have to do what they have to do and I make the best of it.
What choice do I have?

I wrote in a previous blog months ago that when my Uncle was told he had six months to live, IF that was me, I would  not contact my eldest child and I wouldn’t want anyone else to either.

She has chosen to exclude me from her life.
her choice not mine, so therefore why should she be told about my impending death?
I am going to Iowa City here in an hour, what is to say I’m not going to die on the way there or back?

Like a lost love years ago, who decided I wasn’t what he wanted, I am not what my eldest child wants for a mother.
So…..I live with it.

As a fellow blogger told me the other day, I have to find the things that make me happy, and find my own little heaven here on earth and let go of the things I can not change.
And he is right!

life is too short to dwell on what other people do or think or feel.
I can go on knowing I am a good person with a generous heart who loves passionately.

I have no doubt in my mind that when I reach the Perle Gates to Heaven the good Lord will welcome me with open arms!
I have three children who love me, four beautiful grandchildren I adore and my husbands love.
What more do I need but God?
and I have Him too.


Posted June 19, 2010 by Marge in family, God, my loves, ramblings

a busy weekend   Leave a comment

it is Saturday morning, sixty forty am, and the sun is shining and the birds are chirping away outside.
I have a busy weekend but right now it is just nice to sit here and relax.
I could have slept longer and probably should have tired to but….with so much to do, it seemed silly to lay there in bed.

Today starts my forever, never-ending building checks on weekends and holidays since my night custodian retired.
That means every day of my life I have to drive into Iowa City to do the building check on my days off.
Fun fun

And then we have Keira’s birthday party tonight and in between that I have to clean and go shopping with my  youngest daughter.

Tomorrow is another trip to the city where we will get groceries too after the building check.
And then a family picnic on my husband’s side of the family.

Too busy for my liking but what does one do?
Enjoy it as it comes and breathe.

Posted June 19, 2010 by Marge in ramblings