from the outside looking in   Leave a comment

I’m beginning to think I might be a bit depressed.
I find anything and everything is starting to set me off of late.
I get annoyed quite easily and I’m not sure why.

I can complain about the job (I KNOW, GET A DIFFERENT ONE!)

I can complain about my life (Who can change that but me?)

And when it all boils down to it I feel a  bit stagnant and that is probably what annoys me most of all.

It is of my own making and my own doing, so stop complaining about it right?

And while I don’t feel like I’m complaining or whining (thank you Mr. Maine)
I do think I use this blog as an outlet.
As a diary for lack of a better word….to express it all.
To lay every thought and feeling out there….

to vent.

I was venting to a friend yesterday and she wanted to come in and tell me what I was doing wrong and was “Miss fix it all”
I don’t want someone to fix it for me.

It is my life and I will fix it or not to suit myself.
But sometimes I just need to vent.
Sometimes I need to know that someone out there is going through the same thing….or something quite similar.

sometimes it all seems like it is too much of a struggle.

sometimes I just want to quit.
To walk away and say to hell with it all, I’m going to Florida to live on the streets.

dramatic huh?
but I DO feel this way at times.

And then I think of my grand daughters and little Aaron coming and I think “how can I be so selfish?”

but there again lies a problem.
I put everyone else’s happiness above my own.
NOT that my family doesn’t make me happy….they do…..but still I feel like a part of me is missing some where and I can’t find it and I feel panicky because of it.
???

 I know I sound like I’m losing my mind…..and sometimes I think I am……..

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Posted April 13, 2010 by Marge in ramblings

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