why, please dear Lord explain to me why any one would deliberately set another person on fire!!!!
What is wrong with people????

I read the article from Florida where these boys set another boy on fire!!!
My God, what is this world coming to?
It is bad enough that we have suicide bombers and war!
But this, in our own country, setting a boy on fire because he told on one of them?

Or snitches on one of them as the article put it!

Lord help us here on earth.
We need it so very badly.
I just don’t understand what has happened to our country.
😦

what gives people the right to think they can cause another person bodily harm like this?
Luckily the boy will survive but what about all the others who suffer at the hands of someone else?

or the murderers who think they have a right to kill someone???

Please Lord help us.
We are truly a lost cause here on earth.

Advertisement

I don’t care if it is nature, or my grand children.
God’s beauty is every where!!
And I am a very blessed woman to have these wonderful grand children that to me are all gifts from God.
🙂

Thinking of going back to school.
yes I know I have been thinking about this off and on for a few years now.
I won’t lie to you, the idea of it scares me shitless…..but I need to do something different with my life.

I have seventeen years, count them SEVENTEEN years before I can even think about retiring and I don’t want to be a custodian for an elementary school for all that time.

I thought about going back to being a nurse’s aide and I might still.
I love working with the elderly.
Love talking to them and interacting with them.

But I’m not sure if that is the answer.

have to think about it some more.
All my life I wanted to be a nurse or a teacher.
Both seem like a daunting task for me at 48 years old.
Not that it can’t be done.
I have a friend who is 54 and she is going to nursing school right now.
She keeps telling me I need to go back.
And honestly I know I do…..but do I have it in me?
Am I smart enough to learn?

I learned something today, or should I say  late yesterday.
I was drinking a glass of ice tea every day when I got home from work.
Sometimes I would down it in a half hour but more often than not I would drink it with in an hour or so after making it.

I realized why I can’t sleep at night.
It was because of the caffeine in the ice tea.
Odd, because I always made sure I was done drinking it by six pm.
I don’t eat or drink anything after that time because it keeps me up at night.
My husband eats a heaping bowl of ice cream, usually chocolate every night around eight or eight thirty and I am always amazed he can sleep at night.

I wouldn’t be able to.
I would be up for hours.

So it is odd to me that the caffeine in the ice tea was keeping me awake.
But now I know.
I didn’t drink any last night and slept very well.

I will miss my ice tea.
Since I gave up pop a month ago, I allowed myself an ice tea a day.
Only one.
Now I have to give that up too or drink it a lot earlier in the day then three thirty.
😦

my one and only loyal reader, my sister Kathy, wrote how she can picture herself in that sail boat (my blog header) sailing around the world and all I can think of is “Where is her fear?”
How can she be so confident?
To sail around the world would be wonderfully awesome, BUT…..(and yes there is always a BUT with me!)
What about storms? and sharks? and what if you got incredibly sick? what if the boat sank? or had problems with the mechanical aspect of it? What about pirates?
there are so many what ifs?
and I would be scared, probably too scared to go through such an undertaking especially alone or with another person.

I read a blog yesterday about someone who is so love sick and heartbroken that this person is miserable.

I don’t read a lot of other people’s sites, just my family and this other person most of the time
Occasionally I will go into a site that someone has recommended but I would rather read people I know.

And while I don’t know this person at all, except through their writings, I feel badly for them because they are very alone and very much in love with this person who broke their heart.

I have been there.
I have loved and been dumped by someone I thought was my soul mate.
Obviously he didn’t feel the same way.
It feels like and it felt like for me way back when, that someone takes a knife and just skewers your heart and then stomps all over it before leaving it laying there on the ground so shattered you never think it will ever heal.

I couldn’t eat, sleep or find a reason to go on.
I did go on though and it eventually healed itself.
But honestly even now sixteen years later it still hurts if I think about it.

I try to talk to this person through the blogging and try to be there to help this person.
I doubt I am much help though.
It is all words and it doesn’t help heal the pain this person is in.

Still I want to be there for them if they want me to be.
if for no other reason then to be a shoulder to cry on, or an ear to listen to them grieve.

I’m ready for a change.
I’m ready to do something different with my life as far as jobs go.

I told myself I will stay here until next June when the school year is over with and I intend on doing that.
no not because I feel loyal to this place but because I have three weeks of vacation coming in November and I want to use them up.
Take a week or so to go to Wyoming with my sister in April, move some time in May, so that will take another week or a few days anyway and then help my daughter when her baby comes in May also.
Which I will take a week for.

there are my three weeks, already accounted for.

By next June we should have a few more bills paid off and I will be more comfortable in taking a cut in pay and being able to survive on it.
really I would prefer not to work at all but I would probably get fat and lazier then I am now if I did that.
🙂

So while I am sitting on go here and thinking about what I want to do in the next seventeen years until I can retire…..I think….am I qualified to do anything without some education?

I need to check into what would interest me and think about ……school, or not school?

Always decisions……

the original picture of the heading of my blog now.
🙂

here I sit on a Tuesday evening.
The kids and grand daughters went home and it is quiet again.
I feel tired, but that is due to the fact that I can’t sleep at night.
I lay in bed for an hour or more trying to shut off my mind so I can sleep and then I keep waking up.
Around three or four I am wide awake and trying to go back to sleep but if I do sleep it is just lightly.
It is all very frustrating.
Why can’t I sleep?
I get hot and cold and hot and cold all night long.
This doesn’t help the sleeping.

Right now I feel like I could go to bed and sleep all night but I know better.
It isn’t even 8 pm yet…..

besides I should try to write or something.
I’m guessing this will post as Wednesday October 14th but it is still Tuesday the 13th.
🙂